The Perfect End
by Ibbly5
Summary: Suicide; it's not what you'd expect after the best night of your life, but maybe it's a good end to everything. Oneshot Bechloe it's sad so


The song ended and I took probably the deepest breath I ever had in my whole life, turning to the crowd. It exploded into a frickin roar of applause almost instantaneously- I knew in that moment that we had done something really, really amazing, the grin that came next was the same as the rest of the Bellas, I couldn't even help it, my heart was thumping like a machine gun and I felt like crying and flying and laughing all at the same time- was that even possible? Who cared, I turned to Beca and she was looking at me, like stood there surrounded by all the chaos, fully looking at me. Her dark blue eyes were on mine and she was smiling this smile like it was just for me and for a second it was only me and her and I couldn't even look away because she was _**so** _damn beautiful- but then Aubrey was pulling at her shoulder and apologising, and it was over. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins so hard and ugh Beca Mitchell oh my gosh.

I followed everyone off the stage and I was buzzing so much harder than any drugs I'd ever took before, this was literally the most adrenaline I'd ever felt in my whole life.

"And the winners of this year's ICCA's...The Barden Bellas!"

Everyone screamed and I did too, turning round to see Beca stood there beaming and I didn't even care, I pulled her into a tight hug. She was so tiny in my arms and her face was buried into my shoulder, her arms wrapped around my neck and I swear to God I could feel her heart beating against my chest. We just fit together so perfectly, you know? We were friends before but this...I was friends with Aubrey but I wasn't there holding onto her for dear life feeling like my whole life was complete. This was more. And she was gorgeous beyond belief.

"You did it Beca," I said into her ear and she let go of me and let this adorable smile spread over her whole face.

"I'm so glad I met you," she said, stealing the words I'd said to her at aca-initiation night. My heart practically stopped at the look in her navy eyes, and the fact that they were flickering to my lips.

"Who's coming to the aca after partay!" Fat Amy yelled, breaking our eye contact.

We laughed and followed everyone out.

The party in the Treblemaker HQ was banging and everyone was there; Stacie and Donald were going at it grinding on the dancefloor like there was no tomorrow and Fat Amy was in the hot tub with a load of hench ass guys. Beca was laughing with Jesse and doing shots over in the corner and I grabbed a beer and followed Aubrey and Jessica and Ashley to dance to what I'm pretty sure was a mix by Beca.

I could barely keep my eyes from wandering over to Beca. She looked so perfect. And I hated the way Jesse was looking at her. You know when you want someone so badly that your heart feels like it ways a hundred tonnes and you feel like you could die and fly and cry and pass out and throw up all at the same time? I felt like that. About her. Jesus.

I tried to stop looking at her and went back to dancing with the other Bellas- but then Beca was right there and she took my hand and we were going outside into the dark night.

"Where are we going?" I asked. I could barely breathe.

"Just. Out."

Beca smiled at me mysteriously and led me away from the treblemaker house until we couldn't see it at all and we were just in this pitch black field, with the only light from the freaking moon and stars.

"You're being awfully shady Beca," I joked, walking with her through the darkness. She was still holding my hand. Holy fucking shit.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly and sat down on the grass, patting the ground next to her for me to sit next to her.

We lay back on the grass and stared at the stars. My heart was slowing down, but then Beca's fingers slid into mine and it started up all over again.

"Chloe..." she began.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something? Because I'm kinda drunk, and well I don't think I'll ever be feeling this brave like ever again."

She propped herself up on her side, her head supported by her hand and I could feel her looking at me. I turned to look in her eyes. This was the most forward Beca had ever been with me before ever in our whole total friendship- it was like she'd finally broke past that barrier between us, you know, that blatant sexual tension barrier that everyone just seemed to ignore even though it was **so obvious**.

"Sure," I whispered.

Beca didn't say anything for a second and my stomach was fluttering.

"You're beautiful."

I thought I might throw up on her from shock and happiness- how unromantic is that? Luckily I didn't puke, instead I just let this dumb smile curl up on my lips.

"Thanks," I said quietly. "Nothing like you though."

"Shut up," Beca chuckled.

"You're sexy Bec'," I laughed. "I'd bang you."

"Would you now?" she raised an eyebrow teasingly.

"Well...maybe after another beer or two," I joked, but I didn't mean it. I would've done her right there.

"So um, why are we lying in a field by ourselves? Is this like the Lovely Bones? Are you gonna take me in your underground box and kill me?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah."

We didn't say anything for a while and I found myself looking down at her lips. Fuck, I just wanted to kiss her so bad.

"I like you Chloe," Beca said. "Like, I really really like you. More than anyone ever. You just came into my life and made me like so fucking happy. You have no idea how unhappy I was before, like seriously."

Her smile was gone and she was looking at me almost desperately.

"I like you too," I whispered.

"Kay."

"Kay."

She nervously placed a hand on my cheek and I thought I might die. It seemed to take forever, we slowly moved closer together, until our noses were brushing and I could feel her breath on my skin- and then her lips were on mine. She was tentative at first, then I pulled her on top of me, letting my hands slide down her tiny body to her small waist. I could barely even believe it was happening, but then I felt her tongue on my bottom lip and I let her tongue slide into my mouth and practically melted into her. The fact was, I'd daydreamed about this ever since me and Aubrey saw her at the activities and now, it was happening and it was a million times more amazing than I ever ever thought it would be.

"You're perfect," I whispered.

"Thanks."

I slowly pulled her shirt off and well, not to sound like a slut or anything, but we did it and she was fucking amazing.

It was the best night of my whole entire life.

* * *

I woke up the next morning alone in the middle of a field with a stinging headache. There was a while where I just thought what in the name of Jesus could've possibly happened last night- and then I remembered what in the name of Jesus actually happened last night. Beca and I happened. Me and Beca happened! And it was beautiful!

I got up and buttoned up my shirt, and stretched out a lot because sleeping on grass is really not very comfortable. Well...Beca was nowhere to be seen, and I also wasn't entirely sure where I actually was. But I was still buzzing, despite the headache. I probably should've been worried about where Beca was, but at this point in time, I was stupidly optimistic.

"Where the hell did you get off to last night?" Aubrey asked, as I pulled open to door to the Treblemaker house.

I just beamed at her. Her eyes widened and she totally read my mind.

"Oh my gosh, you didn't," Aubrey looked at me shocked and I just nodded. "You and Beca?"

"Yeah."

Aubrey smiled at me because well, she'd had a year of me going on about Beca and blatantly crushing on her, and I guess she was pleased for me.

"Good for you," Aubrey said.

"Thanks! Have you seen her by the way?" I asked.

"No."

"Oh," I said simply. "I have no idea where she's gone..." I mused mainly to myself because Aubrey wasn't really listening. "Can I get a lift home?"

"Sure, I'm just leaving now."

"Cool."

I rummaged in my pockets for my phone but then I remembered I'd left it at home. Still no sign of Beca. I wasn't worried though.

Aubrey and I arrived at our dorm back on campus a while later.

My mind just kept wandering back to last night...Beca's lips on mine...man, just thinking about it made my stomach do frickin somersaults. I loved her. I loved everything about her. I was fully in love with her. It was so damn clear now.

Ever since I first saw her I wanted her, she was just so adorable and she trusted me when she put up such a barrier to everyone else. And after last night. Jeez. I was literally head over heels.

"Holy shit, I've lost the keys," Aubrey exclaimed.

I was too caught up in blissful memories to actually care at all.

"It's fine," I shrugged.

"What are we gonna do?" Aubrey asked. "Chlo'? Man, you really are loved up aren't you. Hey, doesn't Fat Amy have a spare key?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Let's go then."

I followed Aubrey across campus to where Fat Amy's dorm was, thinking back to how Beca looked at me...like I was the best thing in the world. What was gonna happen now? Were we gonna be together? Wow, that'd be so amazing if we were together, oh my gosh, it made my heart beat faster just to think about it.

Aubrey knocked on Amy's door.

"Oh hey skinny bitches, wagwaan?" she appeared at the door, looking tired from last night. I figured that the tiredness and hangover were probably kick in soon, but I was still on an adrenaline high.

Imagine if Beca was my girlfriend...

"We've lost our keys, d'you still have our spare key?" Aubrey asked.

"Oh, sorry guys, I gave that key to Stacie to prank you."

"What?!" Aubrey exclaimed, but I just gave her a look to tell her to calm down since she looked like she was about to stress puke. "Okay. Fine."

"Hey, have you seen Beca by the way?" I chipped in.

"No, sorry," Fat Amy said.

"Oh, okay. Bye."

We left to go to Stacie's. At this point I was still caught up in my head and I didn't even think about the fact that Beca had left me alone in a field after we'd romantically done it beneath the stars on a field.

Turned out, Stacie didn't have the keys either, apparently Jesse had somehow acquired them, so we traipsed over to the radio station, where he was, my head still spinning a little.

"Jesse?" Aubrey asked, as we headed into the radio station room.

Jesse appeared from behind a shelf.

"Oh my fucking gosh," he breathed when he saw us.

Bit of a weird greeting, I thought.

"Hey, do you have our spare keys?" Aubrey asked, confusion on her face.

I looked at him properly. His eyes were red and it looked like he'd been crying. Um...?

"You guys..." his voice was shaky. I was really confused.

"Jesse, what's wrong?" Aubrey asked, frowning worriedly and putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

He just shook his head and looked at us like we were stupid or something.

"You don't know?" he asked.

"Jesse, tell us what's wrong," Aubrey said.

I was looking at him, wondering what the hell could've happened to evoke such an emotional reaction in him. To be honest, he looked awful.

"Beca," he whispered. Beca?! What?

"She...she's..."

My heart was thumping so hard now.

"She died."

What.

"She, she was driving early this morning, and lost control and hit a wall," his voice broke and he dropped his head in his hands. "They say she was drunk, she uh, she died on impact."

Was this real? Was I even hearing this right? It was like my ears had been flooded with this white noise and I couldn't even begin to process what I'd just heard.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry," Jesse said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

No, no, no, no. No. No. She wasn't. She couldn't be.

"Are you joking?" I asked, smiling incredulously.

Jesse shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. Aubrey fell against a wall. But I just stood there.

Then I turned and ran hard, ignoring shouts from Jesse and Aubrey.

I wasn't even sure where I was going but...

Okay, so people don't just die. Beca didn't die. I saw her. I slept with her yesterday. That's not how life works. People don't just die. No.

I was walking hard and fast towards Beca's dorm, I didn't even know why.

I wasn't crying because I didn't believe it for a second. She wasn't dead. She was mine. She was mine.

"Beca?" I was banging on the door hard. "Beca, can you please open up, please Beca, open the door."

Kimmy Jin appeared, tearful and red eyed.

"Chloe..."

"Where is she?" I demanded coming in and looking around.

"She's gone Chloe."

I looked at her bed and her stuff and her clothes. I could smell her. I could smell the perfume she wore, the perfume she wore last night. She was not dead if I could smell her, right?

"She's not gone, don't tell me she's gone because she's not, she's not dead so fuck you!"

I left and I didn't even know where I was going now I just ran home.

Tears started to form in my eyes but I blinked hard, hurrying through the campus until I was outside my dorm.

I tried the door and it wouldn't open so I took off my shirt and wrapped it round my hand, then punched the window and jumped through. My phone was on the side and I grabbed it.

I had a voice mail. It was from her. You see! She was still here! She was still here! I pressed play.

_**"Hey Chloe it's me, uh, I'm sorry I left just now Chlo', I'm in my car right now...Hey, don't you think tonight was perfect? Wasn't it? Chlo', I should've said I love you, so I love you. I really fucking love everything about you Chloe Beale. Look, I've been thinking about this for a while but I was waiting for a good end. This is the perfect end. To everything! That probably sounds so psycho but I'm not, it just makes sense! You know? I've been so unhappy like forever, so why not end on a high? God, I'm so fucking wasted...Thing is, you just drive fast and hard and don't brake and that's it. You're gone. That's what I'm gonna do. Chlo'...you...you made me so happy gosh, so happy. Sorry, I shouldn't talk past tense already...Anyway. The point is uh...Goodbye. Thankyou for making me happier than I ever have been ever in my whole entire sad existence. I'm sorry. Bye Chloe. I love you so much I love you really okay."**_

There was a beep and her voice disappeared.

She killed herself.

I sunk to the floor my eyes wide.

"Chloe?"

Aubrey came in.

"Aubrey she killed herself," I stated.

"What?"

"Listen to this."

I gave her the phone. I was sat on the floor just stupidly staring at the wall, totally shocked as hell. My mind was so fucking blank.

"Oh my gosh," Aubrey said.

She sat next to me and hugged me tight and now I was hugging her back and we were crying and crying then Stacie came in and Aubrey hugged her and they cried, and I just lay on the floor in a ball, banging my head against the floor hating her more than I'd ever hated anyone before. She fucking killed herself, how selfish, didn't she realise I needed her, I needed her we all did, what a fucking bitch fucking hell!

Hours went by and I didn't move. I couldn't. No. No. No. No. No.

Aubrey shook my arm and I just looked straight at her.

"How can I live when she's gone?" I asked.

Aubrey started sobbing.

* * *

"Hey, Beca," I said.

I was dressed in jeans and a sweater and I looked at her gravestone:

**Beca Mitchell**

**1994 - 2012 **

"Jesus Christ," I choked up already.

I was in the graveyard by myself, three weeks after she died. I was not okay yet. Not at all.

"Why didn't you tell us you felt this way?" I asked. "I'm so sorry I never saw it. I should've known you were planning this, if anyone should've known it should've been me. Why did you leave me after that night, why, Beca? You're such a fucking bitch!"

Tears started splashing on my cheeks and I angrily brushed them away.

"I miss you. We were meant to be together you idiot. I love you Beca Mitchell. I always fucking will fuck, I will never never never forget you."

I dropped to my knees and placed the white flowers at the foot of her gravestone.

"Come back?" I begged. My voice cracked.

A tear splashed onto the grave and I stood up and left, crying like a baby.

She was gone and I knew that now.

But I would miss her forever.

* * *

**Sorry I don't know if that was _too_ much or...?**

**I read Looking for Alaska last night, and I guess it inspired this**

**Anyway if you don't hate me too much then review please?**

**Cheers, **

**from Heather**


End file.
